I Hung my Head
by RubiWrites
Summary: Walking Dead AU: After being separated from her group while escaping Howe's Hardware, Clementine runs into a strange woman with a terrible secret who offers to take her Wellington and ends up being her caregiver. They pick up other people along the way and the group learns how humanity was lost but could also be saved.
1. Mary: Karma

_"Two shorten the road."_

_\- Irish Proverb_

_"On one hand, we know that everything happens for a reason, and there are no mistakes or coincidences. On the other hand, we learn that we can never give up, knowing that with the right tools and energy, we can reverse any decree or karma. So, which is it? Let the Light decide, or never give up? The answer is: both."_

_-Berg_

* * *

Mary Peters decided that Karma was, in fact, a huge bitch. That was the only explanation for events that made sense to her, as the groans of the biters (her name for the dead) surrounded her in the grocery store she had been checking for supplies. Considering the fact all she found was one spool of yarn and a baseball bat with a side of biters, this conclusion seemed reasonable.

Not that Mary was going to let Karma WIN of course. She'd rather go down fighting, thank you very much, and thank goodness she found a bat. Maybe Karma only hated her a little bit or maybe it was giving her a sense of false hope before killing her in a far worse way than being eaten alive. Maybe Karma wasn't even real. Who knew, who cared, there were biters to kill and life to be lived for maybe another day. If Mary was lucky. And she was not.

The nearest walker, a decomposing clerk, lunged for her and was rewarded with a bat to his head. Or her. Kinda hard to tell.

As Mary went through, killing biters and trying not to get bitten she noticed a young girl in the horde. At first, Mara thought it was a child biter, which was another thing she attributed to Karma. Fuck you Peters, you get to watch the helpless suffer and become monsters!

Which is why she nearly dropped her bat mid swing from shock when she noticed the girl had LIVING eyes, not the milk white of the walkers. The girl was young, maybe around eleven years old and was covered in biter guts. Mary was impressed the girl had figured out a way to walk safely among biters but she'd almost clocked her and the biters were still bitey so there was that.

Mary struck one down that was next to the child and whispered to her, "Follow me and I'll get you out." In reality, this was highly unlikely. Mary was more likely to become a biter herself than this kid, who was clearly better at surviving than she was (in spite of the fact they both walked into one of the biggest department stores in the area), but Mary was not evil and didn't want this girl to get bitten. She also didn't want to give karma anther reason to kill her. There was enough stacked against her already.

* * *

After what seemed to be an eternity, the pair both exited the store. Then Mary turned around, picked up the girl, and burst into a run towards her truck. She quickly opened the door and tossed the kid into the passenger seat before running to the other side and leaping into the driver side.

Soon (after Mary backed over a persistent biter) the two were on the road and they sat in awkward silence. Mary had not planned beyond 'get the kid out' and had no idea what to say.

"So...I'm Mary."

The child gave her a cautious look, probably trying to decide whether or not the woman was insane. Which, ya know, fair.

Finally, after about five minutes, the girl answered "Clementine."

"That's a lovely name."

More silence. Mary didn't do well with silence, in spite of being an only child she'd grown up on the same street with all her cousins. Even when she'd worked mostly solo in her lab, there was always some kind of noise, whether it was music or her holding one sided conversations with corpses. She cleared her throat, "If you tell me where your parents or any family are at, I'll drive you to them, no problem. Do you have a group?"

Clementine replied quietly, "My parents are dead" she took a deep shuddering breath and let it out "and I lost Christa and the others. Have you seen Christa?"

Mary's chest tightened "Honey, I haven't seen anyone for days. You're the first living person I've seen" She took a breath "You know, there's a place called Wellington that Christa might have ended up. Maybe she's there and even if she isn't, you're better off there than out here by yourself.."

Clementine looked at Mary curiously, "How far away is it?"

"Nineteen miles. It's a drive but people've made it on foot before, I did before I found this truck."

"Why aren't you there?"

"They weren't accepting adults anymore and Karma's a bitch" Mary added quickly "But Christa could have gotten there before they closed it off."

The girl gave Mary a strange look, "Okay I guess I can try that...What's Karma?"

"Its a force that is effected by the good or bad things you do. Do good things, you get good results, do bad things, you get bad results. I've got pretty bad karma."

"Bullshit."

The woman blinked at the girl, "Excuse me?"

Clementine exploded, "I said BULLSHIT! I've tried to do everything right and bad things still happen to me! I lost my parents and Duck and Lee and Kenny and Jane and Luke and poor Sarah and EVERYBODY! That's not how the world works, bad things just happen sometimes!"

Mary argued back "Look Clem, I'm not saying YOU have bad Karma, okay? You're a kid."

"So Lee and all the others they had bad Karma?!"

"No! I have bad karma, specifically me!"

Clementine let out an incredulous laugh, "What makes you so special? Why would the universe want to target YOU specifically?"

Mary snapped, "Because I did some real bad shit, okay? I hurt a lot of people, I fucked everything right up, me and a bunch of other people! And they're all dead and I'm alive and because of that the blame falls on ME because there is no one else! Why am I even arguing this? You're ten!"

"I'm eleven, actually."

Mary took a deep breath and glanced at Clementine. She felt immediately guilty when she noticed the girl was close to tears and decided to apologize. Considering what the poor girl had probably been through, it was only right, "Look, Clementine, I'm sorry. Your folks, they never did anything wrong enough to warrant this" she gestured around with her hand "and neither did you. There's a reason I say its karma for myself but truthfully I don't know you and I can't be sharing that with everybody. A lot of people would want me dead if I did."

Clementine rolled her eyes, "Why, did you kill somebody?"

The woman drove in silence but gave Clementine a look.

"You didn't...did you?"

"Let's get you to Wellington."


	2. Clementine: Hair

_"Hey porter! Hey porter!_

_Would you tell me the time?_

_How much longer will it be till we cross that Mason Dixon Line?"_

_-Johnny Cash_

_"Wit and playfulness represent a desperately serious transcendence of evil. Humor is both a form of wisdom and a means of survival."_

_\- Tom Robbins_

* * *

Clementine was not thrilled at the prospect of riding in a truck for the next 25 or so minutes with a possible murderer. Granted, Lee was a murderer, but Mary wasn't Lee and the girl had limited success with female guardians so far. However, it was a long ride to have in silence, and Mary seemed harmless enough. Overly chatty and a little sad but harmless.

"What did you do before the outbreak?"

Mary replied as she swerved around a walker, "I worked part-time as an Infectious Disease Specialist for a private organization. I mostly specialized in Virology though" The woman noticed the blank stare that the girl was giving her and Mary explained, "I studied viruses and how they effected the human body."

"So, you were a doctor?" Clementine found that interesting. Other than Kaatja and Carlos, she hadn't met many doctors. She kind of figured they probably mostly got eaten due to trying to help everyone.

"Sort of? I had my bachelors in Microbiology but was planning on getting my masters and later my doctorate while working for the company. They had a program to put people through school."

Clementine didn't understand what Microbiology was but nodded anyways, "Cool. What do you think the walkers have?"

Mary looked at Clementine curiously "Walkers?"

"The dead people. Why, what do you call them?"

"Biters...what do you call the ones that run?"

Clementine glared at her, with her arms crossed over her chest, and huffed "They're just walkers, alright? Why do you call them biters?" As soon as she saw the look of absolute glee on Mary's face she realized what she had done and regretted it "Shut up..."

Mary grinned at the little girl, "Because they fly of course, isn't it obvious?"

"Shut Up."

The woman chuckled, "I'm teasing you Clem. Back to your earlier question, I'm not sure what the walkers have. I personally think it might be a variant of rabies or a fungus similar to Ophiocordyceps unilateralis but it could be something entirely new."

What and why was this woman? What were these words? WHAT DID IT MEAN.

Mary sighed when she noticed Clementine's confusion, "Sorry, I keep forgetting you're a kid...It's a fungus that effects ants and knows exactly where its host's brain is, controls it, and makes the ants bite each other. I remember a friend of mine being afraid that the fungus would become able to cross over to humans but even so, it shouldn't be able kill people and then bring them back to life. So my money is on a new disease."

"Oh."

There was a long period of silence after this.

Finally Clementine blurted out what had been eating on her mind since Mary led her out of the store, "Why are you helping me?"

Mary chewed on her lip thoughtfully before answering, "Because it was right. Because you're a kid and alone. Because if it were me I'd want someone's help. There's a lot of reasons why I'd help but those are the first three."

Clementine said in a quiet old voice, "People aren't like that anymore and they get killed when they are. You shouldn't be like that." Lee was like that, Luke was too, and look how they ended up. It didn't exactly increase Clementine's faith in selflessness.

The woman stared at her for a long time and appeared to be struggling for an answer. She finally sighed, "Maybe so."

The little girl looked at Mary in surprise. From what little she knew, Mary seemed to be the type to argue her point.

"But that doesn't mean I'm going to spend the rest of my time here, however long that is, just looking out for myself and hurting others. I traveled that road and it doesn't lead to anything good, ya know? If I have to die, I want to die knowing I did everything I could to fix things."

That's crazy. This woman is crazy. "That's crazy."

"Then I'll die crazy too. I'm chill with that."

Clementine shook her head and then looked closely at Mary's hair. It was a very pretty mousy brown and was done in a braid "You should cut that. A walker or bandit could grab it."

"I know I just haven't been able to get a pair of new scissors. I stabbed a man with my only pair last month and couldn't pull them out of his chest."

"Ew."

"Yeah, he screamed quite a lot and then got eaten by walkers. Lovely stuff."

Clementine tried not to snicker at Mary's deadpan tone and said, "You know, I could cut it. I have scissors. We could pull over and do it now! There's no point in putting if off. Also I REALLY want to play with it."

"Hmmm...Alright. Just don't cut my throat with them."

* * *

After pulling over onto a dirt drive and the pair climbing into the bed of the truck, Clementine set to work on Mary's hair. It was wavy and soft and the girl found herself feeling sorry it had to go. It was quite pretty.

A few minutes passed and Mary jokingly asked, "So, were you a hairdresser before? Because if so, your talents leave MUCH to be desired."

"No but I did want to be either a dog groomer or a vet. I like animals."

Mary asked, "So where did you live? I kind of imagine you as living out in a boxcar, like in the Boxcar Children series or being like Pippi Longstocking..."

Clementine giggled in spite of herself, "I'm from outside of Atlanta, Georgia. Where were you from? You don't sound American but you do...Does that make sense?"

"It does since I'm originally I'm from Lancashire, England. I moved to America when I was eleven after my parents divorced and I spent the rest of my growing up years in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Then I moved out to Macon to be closer to my work around three years ago. So...Yeah, I sound pretty fucking weird." She laughed slightly at the end of this admission.

"Where did you work in Macon? I didn't know they even HAD a lab there." Not that Clementine would have known but it did seem odd a lab would be in MACON of all places.

"I worked in a private lab near the Meriwether County Correctional Facility."

Clementine finished cutting Mary's hair and gave her a small hand mirror, "Why would a lab be near a jail?"

Mary examined her haircut and replied vaguely, "Reasons."

The little girl opened her mouth to further question Mary, when she noticed what appeared to be a walker covered in blood running down the dirt road at them, "Shit Mary!"

The woman took one look at their pursuer, jumped out of the bed of the truck, and ran towards the driver's side "BOOK IT CLEM!"

Clementine followed Mary and just made it to the passenger door when the person grabbed her and screamed, "Please, Please help me!"

The passenger door opened and Mary yanked Clementine up into the cab away from the person, while pointing Clem's gun at her attacker, "Back the fuck off my kid!"

"Wait I know her! She's from Howe's!"

"What, seriously?"

"Yeah! I think her names Becca?"

Becca nodded with tears streaming down her face "Yes! Please just help my sister, they're hurting her!"

Clementine and Mary looked at each other. Mary nodded firmly "Right. Becca stay here with Clem, I'll go help your sister" She hopped out of the cab and instructed the youngest girl "There's a first aid kit in the glovebox, check her over for anything serious."

"Okay! Take my gun, its better than that bat."

After Mary left into the woods next to the dirt driveway, Clementine wondered why she was always left in Charge.


	3. Mary and Becca: Shel

**Warning: Character Death, violence**

_"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness."_

_\- Joseph Conrad _

_"The Fuckening: When your day is going too well and you don't trust it and some shit finally goes down."_

_\- Urban Dictionary_

**Warning: Character Death, violence**

* * *

A plan is defined as: an intention or decision about what one is going to do.

Mary did not have one of those. She didn't have a half a plan, not even 12% of a plan. There was no plan. She could not emphasize more to herself how much of a plan she did not have. That was an issue in her life, she'd have to get on that- screaming. Lots of screaming and brutal laughter.

The former scientist dove behind a tree and peered cautiously around it. Her stomach turned as she saw a young woman partially undressed, who appeared to have a sucking chest wound, crawling on all fours and screaming at the top of her lungs. burly men were laughing and kicking her around or swinging their rifle butts at her head.

_Bastards._

Mary didn't think, she just acted. This was not a thinking situation, this was a 'stop this NOW' situation and Mary stepped out and fired at the man closest to her. The bullet caught him in the neck and he fell on the ground, choking and making horrible gargling screams. She didn't feel brave, there was a rushing sound in her ears and she felt angry and ill, like she was going to cry and vomit, both at once. She fired into the man's head in order to silence him.

One of the men shouted something (the rushing drowned it out) and brought his rifle up to fire at Mary. There was a noise and she felt something whiz by her. A shot to the knee and head. Now there were three. One aimed at Becca's sister and she shot his hand. It was entirely a mistake, she was trembling violently, but she managed to steady herself to shoot the other man that came at her with a bayonet before shooting the guy again, straight through the neck.

The last one ran off and she fired at him but missed. Last bullet.

Mary stumbled over to where the dying man and woman were lying. The man tried to raise his gun to her head but Mary easily pulled it from his hands and shot him.

The woman grabbed the other woman and pulled her up, trying to ignore the noise her wound was making. She was saying something, if only the rushing would stop.

"Who are you? Did Becca send you? Is my sister okay? Are you alright?"

Oh good, the rushing stopped and was replaced by the panicky gasps of a clearly dying woman "I'm Mary, yes she did, I think so, and no. I just killed five more men." Don't vomit.

"I'm Shel. Thank you for trying..." Shel fell on her knees "I feel strange."

Mary tried to heave Shel back up, "That's on account of your sucking chest wound and rapid blood loss" She did not handle serious medical situations with much tact or grace, which is why she had been mostly regulated to dealing with corpses and research, "We need to get you to the truck."

Shel let go of Mary and lay down, "I'm tired...will you take care of Becca? In case I don't wake up?"

"I will just please get up, please don't lie down, get up, get up, get up, GET THE FUCK UP!"

Shel took a shuddering raspy breath and was gone.

Mary shot her in the head. Then she lifted Shel and carried her towards the truck.

* * *

Becca knew, as soon as she saw Mary carrying Shel, that her sister was dead.

Clementine hugged her as she sobbed and Mary put Shel in the bed of the truck. She looked pale, "Clem I need...I need...Shit...the baby wipes, A bed-sheet. and the green dress out of my bag. In the back seat. Please. We need to bury her, its important."

Becca followed Clementine around to the back of the truck, feeling lost. She barely noticed as the younger girl handed her a large worn bed-sheet and a pack of baby wipes. What would she do? Would Mary let her stay?

Mary was mumbling to herself as she cleaned Shel with the wipes, "The others never got buried properly, I should have insisted..."

The woman dressed her in the green dress (Shel would have loved it, green was her favorite) "Its not about me though, Becca needs this, it'll help" Then Shel was wrapped in the bed-sheet and Mary set to digging in a clearing near the road. She blankly commanded them, "Get some rocks. Coyotes."

After two hours, the grave was dug. A pile of rocks was heaped on the grave and a wooden plank had 'Shel Silverman' carved into it.

The three stood around the grave.

Finally, Clementine cleared her throat, "I didn't know you but I'm sorry those men hurt and shot you Shel. I'm sorry you died." Clem rocked back on her heels and looked at the sky.

Becca smiled shakily at Clementine and said to the grave, "I'm sorry that I wasn't always a good sister or a nice person. I made things hard for you and in the end you got shot trying to help me. I love you and I wish it could be different."

The younger girls looked at Mary. Mary started and then looked at Becca, "Any religious beliefs I should be aware of?"

"No."

"Okay" she took a deep breath "I don't know you but even when you were dying, your only concerns were Becca and myself. I think that made you a pretty great person and I wish I could've saved you and killed all the guys. One got away. I'm sorry for that."

Clementine walked next to Mary and took her hand. Becca stood closer to her.

"I guess we'll be going to Wellington. Rest easy."


	4. Mary: Wellington

_"The beggarly question of parentage-what is it, after all? What does it matter, when you come to think of it, whether a child is yours by blood or not? All the little ones of our time are collectively the children of us adults of the time, and entitled to our general care."_

_\- Thomas Hardy_

* * *

Mary went over the details in her head, partially to keep from losing her shit, and partially to process the situation she was now in. Wellington was seventeen miles away and even then they might not let even one of them in. In addition to that, There were two traumatized girls in Mary's truck, Mary had just shot five men to death, and then buried a woman she was unable to save.

Karma was not just a bitch, she was a vindictive bitch, that involved outside parties in her increasingly creative punishments.

Mary glanced back at Shel's sister. Becca sat in the back seat of the truck with her head in her hands and whimpered occasionally. The girl went from sad to angry in 0.2 seconds and right now she was sad. Mary was unsure how to deal with either but decided it would be best to let her cry/swear it out. Becca did have that luxury since they were relatively safe at the moment.

Meanwhile, Clementine was quietly reading a book called 'Charlotte's Web' that Mary had fished out of her backpack before hitting the road. She'd offered 'The Golden Goblet' to Becca and the girl took it but the older child hadn't started reading hers yet. Again, understandable.

The younger girl closed the book and looked at Mary, "The spider dies."

"Yes. Did you finish it beyond that?"

"No, I just knew the chapter after she was introduced. Spider's don't live long."

Mary found herself being unsure how to respond to Clementine. Some of what the child said came from being, well, a CHILD, but some of it came from obvious trauma and Mary was no Psychologist. She did not know exactly which was which, "Ah. Good on ya, using logic."

"Sort of like people."

Trauma. Awesome.

Electing to ignore Clementine's spider comment, Mary sighed "Okay, so, we're going to see if we can get both of you in there-"

Clementine interrupted "What about you?"

Becca echoed the younger girls concern, "Yeah, what about you?"

"I'll be fine on my own. So we'll go, talk to the guards, and see if they have any room for both of you."

Clementine deadpanned as Mary made a turn "You willingly walked into a department store full of walkers. You're not fine on your own."

Becca looked at Clementine in surprise "Seriously? That's like a first day mistake, not a two year mistake" when Clementine nodded her confirmation, Becca addressed Mary, "She's right, you really aren't fine alone."

No. No she REFUSED to have this discussion with preteens, "I survived two years, mostly without help! I'm okay on my own out here, YOU girls need to be safe, YOU are my priority. Its safer in Wellington than out here with me."

The youngest girl said quietly, "Until it isn't. Until someone bad takes over or the horde attacks or bandits burn it to the ground. At least with you, in a small group, we can keep moving."

Mary gave Clementine a look "We're going for Christa. If she's there and can take you two, you're both going. No discussion."

Becca scoffed, "So you'll ditch us? Just like that?"

"I'm not DITCHING you I'm-" Mary took a breath and reminded herself not to shout "I'm trying to keep my promise to your sister. I told her I'd keep you safe and you are safest in Wellington. Both of you are safest in Wellington. There's food and clean water and good medical care and a school and proper clothes for the weather...it'll just be better."

The older girl asked, "And if they don't take us? Are you just gonna drive around until you CAN ditch us? Is that it?"

The woman exploded, "Mother of god, I'm not ditching you! If they won't take you- which is unlikely you are children- you'll be staying with me! The only reason I suggest Wellington is because its well known for being safe! I'm not leaving you wherever!"

Becca asked incredulously, "Why?"

Mary looked back at Becca, "Why what? Why would I take care of you? Because I'm not EVIL dammit" she smacked her hand against the wheel for emphasis, "It would be evil for me to just leave you to yourselves! If any adult did that to you, just understand they were shit people with shit morals and shall be put into the circles of Hell reserved for overall shittiness!"

There was a long silence. Mary called cheerfully, "Oh look, we're here!"

* * *

The three approached the walled village. Much to the girls chagrin, Mary had instructed the them to leave the weapons behind, but they listened to her.

As the three approached, a gunshot rang out and hit the ground in front of them. Mary jumped and swore loudly while Clementine clung to her and Becca followed Mary's (bad) example, "Dude, the fuck?!"

A voice on a loudspeaker called out, "Put your hand where we can see them and approach the gate!"

They hesitantly obeyed and approached the gate, where a woman revealed herself on a small risen outlet. The woman smiled at them, "I'm sorry for shooting at you but a person can't be too careful. I'm Jane, what are your names?"

Mary instinctively took the lead, "I'm Mary Peters. This is Becca Silverman and Clementine Malone." Jane seemed to recognize both the names but Mary chalked it up to her imagination since neither of the girls seemed like they recognized her.

Clementine piped up, "Is there anyone name Christa Meyers or Christa Darzi inside?"

Jane turned and talked to someone before replying, "No honey I'm sorry. There's nobody here with either of those names."

Noticing that the little girl looked ready to cry, Becca put her arm around Clementine's shoulders and gave her a squeeze while mumbling, "I'm sorry Clem. it was a long shot."

"I know, I just hoped...its dumb."

"S'alright."

Two bags of supplies dropped in front of them and Jane called down in a sad voice, "And I'm afraid the news doesn't get much better from here. We still don't have any room but you can have an extra bag-"

Mary felt anger start to bubble up but quickly quelled it. It wouldn't help the girls and she cut in, "Look, I'll go but these girls need a place to stay! Can't you find room for two young girls?"

"I'm sorry Miss but there really isn't any room. They just made room for me and my baby" Noticing the look on Mary's face, Jane frowned "The world doesn't begin and end on you or your girls you know."

Screw it. Time to be a bitch.

Mary took a deep breath and turned to Clementine and Becca, handing them the truck keys and the supplies, "Go to the truck and warm it up. NOW Becca don't argue with me."

After the girls were gone, Mary turned to Jane, "The world may not begin or end on my girls but you're a bitch for saying that! How dare you stand there knowing the children of YOUR community, not to mention your own baby, are safe and say that?! Fuck you!"

"Now see he-"

"Shaddup! This is life or death out here, you understand?! You've been safe, you don't know what it's like to watch kids die out here! They should be playing with their friends and going to school and eating ice cream! Not scrounging to survive and having adults like you decide whether they should have a chance or not!"

"Scream all you want, your girls are NEVER getting in" There was a sound of a rifle cocking "Now get lost or we'll shoot!"

Mary flipped Jane off as she backed away, "Rot in hell! I wouldn't let them in there if you held a gun to my head! As far as I'm concerned, you're no better than bandits!"

Two shots rang out, one over Mary's head, and one at her feet, "LEAVE NOW!"

The woman ran and screamed over her shoulder, "Get fucked in the ass by biters!"

* * *

Becca and Clementine were both sitting in the truck, talking to each other,but they stopped when they saw Mary.

Becca asked cautiously "How'd it go?"

Mary fired up the truck and hissed, "If we didn't need those supplies, I'd burn them! What a bitch! If she'd been standing guard when I got here, I'd have never come back!"

Clementine said quietly, "We know. She was in our group."

Mary felt something hot and angry come screaming up inside her but she quieted it down, "That BITCH. That fucking BITCH."

"We know. We were saying something like that when you came in."

Mary took a deep breath and looked at the two girls. Her mother would have LOVED this, "Well I never wanted children and the universe blessed me with two. I must say, I'm wonderfully glad" She drove away, "Let's find a place to stay, shall we?"


	5. Becca: Cabin

_"I am a great believer in found families and I'm not a great believer in blood."_

_-Joss Whedon._

_"Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness."_

_-Desmond Tutu_

* * *

**A Week later**

The place they ended up staying, as it turned out, was the cabin that Carlos and his group had been staying. At least that's what Clementine told Becca and Mary. After a quick sweep of the house for walkers, the little group moved their things in. A good thing too, Becca thought, since the sky opened up with freezing rain.

Mary closed the door after everything was moved in and smiled at the girls, "Well here we are! Home sweet home" she awkwardly made popping noises with her mouth and said, "Why don't you girls go pick a room for yourselves and I'll start up a fire and put the food away?"

Becca thought it was sort of endearing that Mary was trying to act as if everything was normal, when everything had been actual hell for the past two years. If it was a different time and place, they could have been an older sister and her younger sisters bonding in the wilderness. In reality, they were three strangers thrown together and forcing themselves to make it work so they didn't die.

Let it slide, she's trying "Sure. C'mon Clementine."

After getting up the stairs, Becca said to the younger girl, "Why don't you pick? You're the youngest!" She immediately mentally kicked herself. This was not a vacation and they didn't know each other.

Clementine stated simply, "I'm eleven. Not six. If I want a room I will fight you for it" Clementine turned decisively towards a room on the left, "This was Sarah's room, so I'm taking it."

"Cool" Becca decided to never piss off Clementine. There was something very wrong with that kid "I'm taking the room across the hall, just so you know."

"Fine."

Painfully aware of how little she and Clementine had, Becca set her bag on her bed and unpacked the extra set of clothes from the Wellington supply bag into the dresser, along with Shel's jacket. She then took out the two books she owned: 'The Golden Goblet' and 'Strawberry Girl that Reggie had gifted her one Christmas. He'd given Sarah 'Sarah Plain and Tall' which they both read the cover off of. The only thing the teens agreed on liking was books and discussing books was the only time they didn't fight. Except about whether or not Twilight was literature, which it OBVIOUSLY was.

Becca wished she'd gotten along better with Sarah. She really wasn't that bad and, looking back on it, a lot of the poor girls' problems had come from her father overprotecting her, Carver/herself/everyone except a few people bullying her, and seeing her mother die. No one would be normal after all that.

Especially not after Carver. It was amazing Carver hadn't turned everyone into a nervous wreck.

"Hey Becca? Can you come in here?"

"Yeah Clem?"

She walked into the room next door to Clementine's room and asked, "What's up?" She noticed Clementine was pale, "Hey what's wrong?"

The little girl wordlessly pointed to the bed which had a lump in it. A snoring lump.

Oh.

Oh SHIT.

Clementine mouthed, "What do we do?"

Becca mouthed back, "I don't know. Shoot it?"

The little girl motioned that her gun was out of ammo. Damn.

The lump groaned and moved. Both the girls jumped back and Becca stood slightly behind Clementine, thinking she was better qualified to deal with whatever it was.

Clementine whispered, "I'll go get Mary. You hide in the closet with my gun and surprise...them whenever they wake up. Make them think its loaded."

That...was a pretty good plan actually, "Okay. Hurry though!"

Becca hid in the closet and waited. Sure enough the lump began to wake up, sitting up slightly, "Whuzzat shmell?"

The teen jumped out of the closet and pointed her gun at him, "Move and I'll shoot your ass!"

She then realized she recognized him, "Vince?"

"Becca?"

At that moment, Mary came flying in and pointed her rifle at him, Clementine close behind her with a large knife, "What in the fuck are you doing in our house?!"

Vince held up his hands (wisely in Becca's mind, she'd seen the bodies of the men Mary'd shot plus that one poor bastard that tried to hurt her and Clem while on the road, that woman was no joke when pissed off with a rifle in hand) and snapped, "Lady, this is MY house, you broke in here! What are YOU doing with my friend?!"

Sensing that the situation would escalate from here, Becca held up her hands, "Hey, if we could all calm the FUCK down, that would good. Vince this is Mary and Clementine. Guys, this is Vince. He was in my old group before we all went to Howe's."

"Becca, where's Shel and who taught you to swear?"

Really Vince? That was really what he chose to focus on? Bad words? "Shel was murdered Vince and I always swore. You guys were too busy ignoring me to notice."

"Shel's dead?" Vince eyed Mary suspiciously, who rolled her eyes and snapped, "It wasn't me it was a group of rat bastards I shot dead. The past week has been shit in case it isn't obvious."

"It really is." Dammit Vince.

Becca motioned to Mary, "Can I talk to you a minute?" She prayed the woman wouldn't argue with her and decide to just kill the guy and call it good. Not that she thought Mary would do that but she didn't know the woman that well.

Thankfully, Mary shrugged and followed Becca out into the hallway. She instructed Clementine, "Clem, keep a eye on him and give a shout if he tries anything."

"I'll do that. After I stab him."

Mary stared briefly at Clementine before giving her a thumbs up and continuing into the hallway, "Good on ya, you do you."

After they got outside, Becca said, "We need a guy to stay with us. Hear me out" She could see Mary getting upset "You're an awesome badass with that rifle and you don't need no man but that doesn't change the fact the rules have changed for a lot of people and if there is a man, weirdos will see us as belonging to that man and leave us alone. Understand?"

"I do but what if he's dangerous?"

"I know him. He's not dangerous to me or to you guys for that matter as long as you're with me. He's a friend."

They walked back in, Vince and Clementine deep in conversation. Becca could catch the tail end of it on Clementine's part "-Mary's super nice, she just wants us safe, that's all...Hi!"

Mary looked at Becca then at Vince and then at Clementine, before looking back at Vince with a hard expression, "Becca says you're alright and I believe her but you do anything to hurt these girls and I'll kill you and dump you off in the deepest end of the creek, understand?"

Vince gave her the same look, "Same to you."

"Good we understand each other. I'll go make dinner."

After she left, Vince looked at Becca and Clementine addressing them both, "Are you sure she's good?"

Not really but Becca wasn't about to say that "Absolutely."

Clementine shrugged, "Yeah."

"I guess I'll have to take your word for it."


	6. Mary: Sleep

_"My life needs editing."_

_-Mort Sahl_

_"During the day, memories could be held at bay, but at night, dreams became the devil's own accomplices." _

_― Sharon Kay Penman, The Reckoning_

* * *

Mary hadn't had a full nights sleep since the apocalypse. She was either travelling alone, when it was highly dangerous to sleep for very long, or she was too afraid of the people she was with to sleep. And, when she did sleep, she had horrible nightmares.

(This was another thing of many she attributed to mostly to Karma. The rest she attributed to the way her brain (badly) processed being surrounded by death and suffering on a nigh hourly basis.)

Most of the time, she dreamed about the lab and her first group before she was forced to strike out on her own. Sometimes she dreamed about her first killing of an actual person or the time she was treed by biters, which was more embarrassing than frightening. The nightmares that became increasingly more frequent was something happening to either Becca or Clem.

Especially after that CRAZY Nathan guy that tried to hurt Becca and would have done who-knows-what to Clem. Had Mary not caught him at it, hunted him down, and shot him like a dog. That was a very satisfying memory, Mary didn't enjoy killing people but for Nathan she made an exception.

These were the types of thoughts that ran through Mary's head as she sat up on the couch with her rifle in her lap and Vince asleep next to her. Neither she nor Vince trusted each other during their month together and decided the best way to deal with that was by sitting together on watch and then having the girls take the second watch. This was not a good plan, as Mary was a quicker shot than Becca was and Clem was an eleven year old girl but it was better than nothing.

Vince jerked and murmured in his sleep and Mary warily eyed him and scooted down to the end of the couch. She did NOT need him to hit her in his sleep again. Vince was not usually a talker but he did move around a bit and once hid under the table mumbling about 'Fly People'. Mary understood, biters in her dreams weren't always biters, sometimes they were rabbits or dolls.

Once, they were all Clem. That was FUN.

Suddenly Vince sat bolt upright, causing Mary to instinctively pull her rifle on him. Luckily for the both of them, the man who'd taught her to shoot, also taught her not to pull the trigger until she was damn sure she actually wanted to hit whatever or whoever she was aiming at. She wasn't sure she wanted to kill or even wound Vince, he'd been decent so far.

He seemed to be coming awake and shouted, "Whozat!" While flailing wildly in Mary's direction.

"It's me. You had a nightmare."

"Oh...okay..." He settled down and seemed to drift back off to sleep but then sat up abruptly, causing Mary to point her rifle at him again. He glared at her, "Did you point your rifle at me? Are you STILL pointing it at me?!"

The woman rolled her eyes and lowered her weapon back to her lap, "Yes, you startled me when you sat bolt upright."

"So you pointed your rifle at me?"

Not sounding sorry at all she said, "Sorry. Instinct from three years of being mostly alone and trying to not get killed by maniacs or biters."

Vince didn't seem to have anything to say to that and after a while said, "How long were you alone for?"

"Two and a half years. The first five months I was in Crawford" she spat the name out like a curse, "but those people were evil fascists so...Yeah."

"They just let you leave?"

Mary wondered how much she should tell Vince before deciding on the truth, "I had helped a bunch of former cancer patients escape when the leadership decided they had to die because of 'risk factor' or some shit. They suspected I was involved and even tried to get me to confess by beating me with an extension cord but I wouldn't say anything. So instead of impaling me on a spike, they gave me a gun and a bag of supplies, then put me out. I nearly died because the injuries got infected."

Vince stared at her, "Holy shit...why didn't you die?"

"A mixture of luck and not all people being evil. There was a Jewish community called Hallel not too far away that cleaned me up and nursed me back to health. They ended up leaving due to the increase in walkers and we went our separate ways. Good people and very brave, bandits didn't mess with them."

Vince looked interested, "Wait, there are Jewish communities? That's interesting."

Mary nodded, "Hallel was one and there was an Orthodox community called Yisrael. Oh, and Shiloh, they're not far from here. All good people. What did you do for the last two and a half years?"

"I travelled with Justin who ditched me for a group after six months, made my own group for around a year, and then lived with Carver" He got a faraway look on his face, "I should have never taken the others to Carver. We compromised so much there and we shouldn't have. Reggie, Rebecca, poor Sarah...I don't understand why he hated that girl so much, there was nothing wrong with her outside of PTSD and she couldn't help that."

The woman shrugged and said with venom, "Some people can't handle illness and find it to be a weakness. That was Crawford's whole deal with people with chronic illnesses."

"You really hate Crawford huh?"

"They did some really awful stuff and people were scared, so they never did anything about it. They forced abortions on women, killed people who were too old or sick to work, and murdered several disabled people that were unable to leave. I watched them impale a blind and deaf eight year old girl in front of her father and he killed himself not long after that" Before Vince could say anything she added, "I had no idea what was going on because it was my first week there or I would have done something. They'd taken the gun I had at the time too."

The man shuddered, "That's horrible."

"All people are horrible, deep down, but that's a decision they make. Just because the potential for evil is there doesn't mean it has to manifest itself."

Clem's voice came from behind them, "They killed a little girl?"

The adults both jolted and turned to face Clementine. Mary said softly, "I'm sorry Clem I didn't mean for you to hear that."

"It's okay. It just makes me glad they're all walkers now" Clementine climbed over the back of the couch and snuggled next to Mary, "They were very bad people."

Vince and Mary looked curiously at each other and Vince asked, "How do you know that kiddo?"

"I was there, after they all died. Lee took me because he was afraid Omid would die and bite me."

Mary realized she didn't know a lot about the little girl except for Lee, her parents dying, and her time with Carver's people, "I'm sorry you saw that place Clementine."

"Me too. Its Becca's and my turn now."


	7. Clementine: Snares

_"Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends." _

_― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring_

_"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive." _

_― Dalai Lama XIV, The Art of Happiness_

* * *

In Clementine's 3 years of living in the apocalypse she had learned one thing: routine kills. The more you mix it up, the more likely you were to survive and the less you mixed it up, the less likely you were to survive. That being said, she could reluctantly admit to the fact it was probably safer to stay put in the winter. And it was winter.

Therefore they stayed put. Even if it was necessary Clementine was not a fan, anyone could find them, it was obvious the cabin was lived in.

The only comfort for the little girl was that, for the past few months, both Vince and Mary had been teaching Becca and Clementine survival skills. No one said it out loud but anything could happen to Mary or Vince or both at any time and the girls could end up alone. So every day, except on Saturdays and part of Sundays, one adult would take one girl out and teach them to hunt/trap/start a fire/etc. and the other pair would practice how to fortify a house/ sharpshooting/ skinning animals/gardening/ etc. Becca and Clementine were by no means becoming experts but if anything happened to the two adults, they would do well on their own.

Clementine liked Vince. He was nice and reminded her a bit of Lee.

"Clementine are you paying attention?"

The little girl snapped back into reality and looked at Vince, who was kneeling in the snow with a snare in his hand, a look of concern on his face, "Sorry I got distracted. What did you say?"

He patiently repeated his instructions, "Take the snare you made and anchor it to that tree there. Make sure its pulled taunt, so the animal doesn't suffer for very long."

She did as she was told, "Okay, now what?"

"We're aiming for rabbits, so we'll put some vegetable scraps in the middle as bait."

"What if we catch something else? Like a raccoon or a fox?"

Vince shrugged, "Foxes and raccoons are too smart for a trap like this but if we catch something we aren't supposed to, we could do the best with what we have and eat it...Unless its a skunk. Skunk's carry rabies."

This seemed acceptable, "Okay" she laid the bait in the snare, "Done!"

"Good job" Clementine shivered and Vince said, "It's getting colder so we should start back."

* * *

As the two got closer to the cabin, they could hear loud arguing between what sounded like Mary and a familiar female voice.

"You can't keep me here! I only wanted to leave the two with you!"

"Look, I don't like you but you aren't leaving! You can barely walk in a straight line!"

Suddenly the door burst open and, to Clementine's shock, Jane rushed out, "LET ME GO!"

Mary was two steps behind her and wrestled Jane's arms behind her head and forcibly escorted her back to the cabin, "Bitch NO not until you get well enough to travel" the former scientist gave Clementie and Vince a tired look, "I'll explain after dinner. For now all you need to know is that she's mostly blind but its temporary-

Jane protested as she struggled weakly, "No I'm not! I can see fine!"

"Then who did I just talk to?"

The blond woman thought for a moment, "Um...Kenny and Sarah? But aren't they dead?"

Clementine felt something ugly rising up, "No thanks to you."

Jane flinched, "Oh..." She looked towards Vince, "You ARE Kenny right?"

Vince replied shortly, "No, its Vince" He shouldered his way past Jane and said to Mary as he passed, "I got some extra rabbit and fish."

"Great" Mary followed him inside, with Clementine following behind her fuming.

"You killed A.J. Jane!"

Becca's voice came from the living room, "Actually Clem, he's fine" Becca came out holding a strange baby on her hip and followed by a crawling A.J.

Clementine's heart felt like it might burst. She rushed over, "A.J! You're alive!" He giggled and hugged her legs, beaming up at her.

"Wait, what do you mean Clem?" Mary had tucked Jane tightly to the couch with bed sheets.

"Jane said he died! She told me he was under Sarah!"

"WHAT" Mary whirled on Jane, "Is that true?!"

Jane nodded weakly, "I said that to get Clem to leave without me but I managed to rescue him" she gestured to the other boy baby on Becca's hip, "That's Walter Matthew. He was a bit of a surprise..."

Becca asked, "What about Sarah? Did you help her too?"

The woman was quiet. Becca's eyes widened, "You LEFT her?! You moved her and then LEFT her?!" Clem clutched A.J. and staggered. She felt like she might throw up.

"At the time, I thought she was too much of a liability."

Before any of the other girls could respond, Vince walked by the couch and said flatly, "Well so are you in your state but you don't see us leaving you to die" He turned to Mary, "Its ready for you and Becca."

Becca handed Walter Matthew to Clementine and followed Mary out to the kitchen, leaving Vince and Clementine with the babies and Jane.

The little girl decided to sit on the floor beside the armchair with Walter Matthew and Vince sat down on the armchair and A.J. crawled over. He picked him up and placed A.J in his lap. Vice jerked his head over to Walter and Clem "This one yours and Luke's?"

Jane shrugged, "Yeah. He had a twin but she died after the first day. The nurse said her lungs were underdeveloped."

Vince asked, "Did you name her?"

"Yes, I named her Sarah Joy."

Clementine stared at Jane, "You named her after Sarah? Why?" She knew Jane disliked Sarah and it surprised her that the woman would name her own child after her, even if that child had died after a day.

"Because I should have saved her. She begged me to but I just left her there to die all alone" Jane looked toward Clementine, "I regret a lot of things."

The child changed the subject, "Why aren't you at Wellington anymore?"

"Bandit raid. I escaped with A.J, Walter Matthew, and a few others" Jane swallowed hard, "I was blinded because I got hit in the face and it swelled and my group ended up leaving me. Because me and the boys were liabilities."

Clementine grunted, "Guess you know how that feels now."

The man looked over at Clementine, "Clem..."

The girl flinched, "I know. I'm sorry Jane."

"Don't be, I deserve it after what I did to you and everyone else. I'm surprised Mary even agreed to take the boys, much less manhandle me into the house."

A.J began to fuss and Vince sniffed him, "Woof, you stink" he stood up and addressed Jane, "Mary's not evil and she might not admit it but I don't think she ever wished you any real harm."

"She told me to get fucked by walkers."

"I haven't known Mary for very long but she tends to say things like that when she's angry. Don't worry about it."

After he left, Jane asked Clementine, "Is he with Mary? Like WITH Mary?"

"I don't know, I try not to think about that stuff."


	8. Vince: Sammy

_"They are very young. And on their earth, as they call it, they never communicate with other planets. They revolve about all alone in space."_

_"Oh," the thin beast said. "Aren't they lonely?"_

_\- A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle_

_"I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil." _

_— The Return of the King by J. R. R Tolkien_

**Trigger Warning: Mention of attempted Sexual assault of a child. Stalking.**

* * *

It was one of the longest, most awkward nights of Vince's life.

It was pretty clear that Mary, Clementine, and Becca, though polite, were not fans of Jane given that she had lied about A.J. and left Sarah. Vince understood since he hated people that were out for themselves- Justin was like that before he ditched him- but then again, so was Bonnie. And he'd made excuses for Bonnie AND Justin. However he found himself making fewer excuses for Jane and Vince was faced with the uncomfortable fact that it was probably because he was never very fond of her. Maybe that made him a hypocrite.

The only plus was that A.J. and Walter Matthew were both pretty cute. They reminded him of his own brother at that age.

Vince missed his brother. He must be about Clementine's age now, if he was still alive. Maybe he'd find him someday or maybe not. Most likely not.

"Vince."

He jumped and looked over at Mary, who was sitting beside him on the porch with her ever-present rifle in her lap, "You alright? You've been in a fog since everyone else went to bed."

"Yeah, I'm good. Weird day."

"I'll say. Never thought I'd see Jane again."

"Neither did I. Small world I guess."

Mary nodded, "Yep. Full moon tonight, so maybe that explains it."

That was odd, Mary never struck Vince as superstitious. He gave her a strange look, "How?"

"My mom was a nurse and she said people tended to be admitted to the hospital more during a full moon and more births would happen. I personally never believed it until I volunteered as a candy striper and witnessed some of it myself."

He gave her a surprised look, "YOU were a candy striper? You?"

She shrugged, "I wanted to see if I was cut out to be a nurse in a controlled environment. To the surprise of exactly no one, I was not."

"Yeah, I was just gonna say that your bedside manner is terrible."

"Okay, fair."

There was a brief silence and then Mary adjusted her rifle and asked, "So, what were you thinking about?"

Vince was going to refuse to answer at first. Then he realized he was stuck with Mary and had nobody else to talk to, "My tendency to defend crappy people and how that has affected everyone around me. Also, my brother."

Mary didn't seem to know what to say but replied, "Vince, you're a good guy and sometimes good guys defend people who don't deserve it. That's not a reflection on you, that's on them."

"I fail to see how that doesn't reflect on me. If I'm such a good guy, I should be able to tell when a someone is going to bail on me after I saved their life by killing another person or when another person is going to escape but not tell any of her friends and put them in danger in the process!"

"That's very specific."

"I've had a very specific life."

Mary sighed, "Vince, as a shitty human, I assure you that you are not a bad person. You are a good person and this really messed up world needs that right now."

Vince replied, "Mary, you aren't a bad person either. A bad person would have left Clementine and Becca for dead or turned Jane out or left those cancer survivors to die. You go above and beyond what most people would do and that's good. I shot a man and made some terrible choices..."

"So did I! I made choices that helped to fuck the world over and NONE of this would have ever happened!"

"Oh for the love of- You are NOT responsible for the apocalypse! No one even knows how it happened! Why do you do this to yourself?!"

"Because KARMA that's why!"

Vince groaned. THIS ongoing conversation, "Karma does not exist. The universe isn't controlled by a random force. Please stop."

Mary snapped, "Fine" after a brief pause she asked, "What about your brother?"

"I was wondering if he was alive or not."

"How old is he?"

"He's be Clem's age now. He was nine when this started."

Mary winced and looked away. Neither of them needed to say it, children didn't often survive the first 400 days, "I'm sorry."

Vince shrugged, "Don't be, it is what it is. Maybe he's still alive and I'll see him again."

"What was his name?"

"Samuel but we all called him Sammy. He was a miracle, my parents only had Faith and I and they thought they couldn't have any more kids."

Mary smiled, "That's awesome. Were you close?"

Vince smiled slightly at the memories, "Yeah, we were. When he was a baby he's only want me to hold him and his first word was 'Vince'. I used to carry him in a sling, dad thought it was 'unmanly' or something like that but mom was thrilled since Faith didn't take much interest in him. She was off to college and didn't like babies too much. So I took care of him" Vince's smile faded, "I failed twice though. Once with his walking home from school and now with the apocalypse. I should have gone looking for him when this all started..."

"What about walking home from school?" When she noticed Vince's silence she added quickly, "You don't have to tell me!"

"Its fine. I think-I think I can handle it" He took a deep breath, "I used to walk Sammy to and from school every day, usually before and after my work shifts. Once he got to nine, he started to insist he could walk on his own and gave everyone all kinds of problems because of it. So the whole family talked about it and decided he was old enough."

"The first two months everything went well. The third month, a guy called Simon Morgan tried to..." Vince sought for a phrase, "hurt him. In a really terrible way. Sammy got away and we pressed charges but he was never the same after that. He was afraid of me and my dad and wouldn't go anywhere alone. Then, THEN Simon got out on bail and it looked like he was going to get away with it. There were no witnesses and no evidence, because he had rich family and money gets rid of EVERYTHING."

Vince continued in a wooden voice, "So I took my dad's gun, hid it in my pants, and went to Morgan's house. He tried to say it wasn't him, that he didn't KNOW Sammy, like I hadn't SEEN the bastard hanging around the school! So I shot him dead."

Mary didn't say anything.

"And for what? I got sent to jail and now Sammy might be dead! If I had been there maybe-" Vince made a terrible noise and composed himself, "It doesn't matter. Its over and done with."

He felt a thin pair of arms cautiously wrap around him, "I'm sorry."

Vince gave Mary a weird look, "Are you hugging me?"

"Sorry! Is it bad, I'll let go!"

"No its-its fine."

Mary gave him a squeeze and released him, "It's okay to cry and be angry."

"Thanks."

"Its also okay to find Morgan's grave and piss on it."

Despite himself Vince started laughing, "Holy shit Mary, you really DO have no chill, Becca's right!"

"I'm serious Vince!"

"I know that's why I'm laughing!"


End file.
